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Satisfying and pleasurable relationships don’t happen automatically.
They require awareness and attention. — Jacqui Stratton, MFT
Table of Contents for Duos Series
Happy Valentine’s Day to friends, family and fans of Jacqui Stratton and her legacy of love. From 1989 to 1993, I had the unique opportunity of working with Jacqui on a project that was dear to her heart. That project was the creation of the seven issue series called Duos, a publication for developing satisfying and pleasurable relationships. We began with a weekend in an empty beach house in Pescadero on the Northern California Coast. There was no table to work on, so we took a door off it's hinges and found some old saw horses out in the garage. Our perfect new workspace had a unobstructed view of the vast Pacific Ocean and for the entire weekend, we only left our seats for food and naps. We were fully engaged in the process of understanding and defining what makes a relationship a healthy one. The project that we began that day took us over five years to complete. It’s an honor to now share these writings with you online. As a popular Bay Area marriage and family therapist, Jacqui had heard all kinds of stories of love, both creative and terribly destructive. She wanted something very practical to give her clients to help them dialogue about what was important to them and to find ways of consciously developing and honoring their relationships; navigating them into the calm and balmy waters of mutually satisfying love. Jacqui and I worked together at least one weekend a month. In that time we not only became dear friends, but co-creators as we often “walked through molasses” to find the place where the juices would flow again. She was a task mistress, keeping me in my seat at the computer as I transcribed for her, engaged in deep discussions, shared life stories, and argued the finer points of conditional and unconditional love over a plate of her favorite lasagna at Greta’s Cafe in downtown Sacramento. Perhaps the best part of being in Jacqui's life was experiencing her sense of play and adventure. She may have looked like Buddha with a perm, and behind those compassionate eyes lived the wisdom of the Bhodisatva mixed with the playfulness and happiness of a Pixie. She truly believed that we can “choose to play and be happy” and that she did! It was such an honor when she presided over my marriage to Henry in January 2003. We even had the attendees read us the 12 Principals of Healthy Loving as part of our ceremony. With what we have learned from Jacqui, and put into action in our own lives, we enjoy a rich relationship based on healthy loving.
In Jacqui's lifetime, she left many legacies. One of her finest is Anthropos Counseling Center in Livermore, CA. From her heart she created a place that trains counselors and assists many people from all walks of life. If you find this website helpful to you and wish to assist in continuing Jacqui's fine work in the world, please donate to Anthropos. Your tax deductible gift will help them continue to honor Jacqui's teachings and spread the healthy loving, which is all she every really wanted. “Remember, love is a word put into in action.”
CLICK the HEARTS for the complete online Duos Series. My book of sensuous poems and stories, |
Original Materials written by Jacqui Stratton & Susan Lawton |
It was so hard for everyone who had been touched by Jacqui to have her leave so suddenly in October of 2003. “Who do I turn to now?” was the question I asked myself, knowing that so many others who worked with her, played with her, had her as a counselor, wife, mother, or friend were asking themselves the same thing. We’ve had to grow more, live in ways she taught us to live, become our own counselors, appreciate and nourish our friendships, knowing it could change in an instant. We’ve, by necessity, had to become more like her. 
The other day, I was moved to drag out the old chair that Jacqui sat in when she came to Sacramento for our work together. I felt that gentle push of her spirit, knowing that Valentine's Day is on the way, her favorite holiday, it seemed that something had to be done. I set up the materials that we had created on the chair, along with a big crystal, and as if the task mistress was right there with me, I couldn’t stop until this website was born.
