The Climate for Love - Intimacy I.Q.

This Intimacy Quiz is designed to help you and your partner assess attitudes, behaviors, and skills necessary to sustain an intimate relationship. As you review and discuss these questions, you and your partner may discover strengths and weaknesses. These questions can stimulate dialogue and help you to uncover areas in which further growth may be needed.

Dialoguing — expressing thoughts and feelings while responsively listening to what the other thinks and feels — is an essential skill in creating and maintaining healthy loving relationships.

Rate yourself and your partner on a scale of 1 to 4 :

1 = very seldom
2 = occasionally
3 = often
4 = nearly always

1. Do you find ways to spontaneously create intimate moments with your partner in public places?

2. If your partner creates a special event for you, do you bring a positive attitude and show your appreciation for the effort?

3. Do you sense yourself making a shift in consciousness—from ordinary reality to a romantic dimension—when you spend intimate time with your partner?

4. Do you look for unusual, mysterious, or surprising ways to seduce your partner into playful activities?

5. Are you attuned to your partner’s romantic fantasies and are you willing to participate in fulfilling them?

6. Do you use the ecstatic inductors to heighten your pleasure and enjoyment together?

7. Are you willing to participate in beautiful rituals with your partner to encourage and support loving interaction?

8. Do you create “love nests” with your partner?

9. Do you foster ways of experiencing ecstasy with your partner?

10. How often do you become overcome with passion and make love with your partner with complete abandon?

Any score of 1 or 2 may be an indication of a breakdown in intimacy. Scores of 3 and 4 are signs of doing well at developing the Climate for Love. If you are sharing your scores with your partner and there is a discrepancy in the scores that you have given each other, use this as an opportunity to explore this area of intimate behavior. Dialoguing about your discrepancies sometimes can be helpful in seeing yourself more clearly.