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Taking a change is a three-step process. Recognizing these steps
as they occur lowers resistance to change.
1. Awareness begins the change cycle, but change does not take place unless the awareness is acted upon behaviorally. When acting upon the change, which can be difficult, we often wish that we had remained unaware.
2. Detoxification of old patterns, beliefs, and attitudes.
a. The old pattern is repeated; then it is remembered that the intention had been to do it differently. Forgetting is not due to a weak commitment. Because the new awareness is fragile, the intent of change must be met with acceptance, not criticism.
b. Both the old pattern and the new awareness exist simulataneously. The momentum of the old pattern makes actualizing the new awareness and its corresponding behaviors difficult. This can be discouraging — the new awareness was available, yet the old pattern continued.
c. Eventually the new awareness occurs prior to the old pattern. There are two options—to continue with the old pattern or to experiment with new behavior. Choosing the old pattern is often accompanied by defiant or angry feelings, while the new behavior may elicit fear followed by elation. Over a period of time, vacillation can occur between the choices and continue until detoxification is complete. This may produce feelings of despair, grief, sadness, and anger, and will eventually serve to move into the fourth and final stage.
3. Integration is doing the new behavior most of the time. It is accompanied by feelings of accomplishment. Restrictive thoughts rarely occur, and change is easy. After this last shift, there is often an experience that serves as a test.Successfully completing the test strengthens the integration of the new behavior and the change be-comes, for the most part automatic.
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