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Taking a clear distinction between sensual and erotic touch is vitally important for a healthy, loving relationship. In these relationships, both partners’ needs for sensual and erotic touching is fulfilled. When couples are in a pattern of always moving from sensual touch to erotic touch, this can effect women in one of two ways. They engage in sex when their real desire is for sensual touch, feeling that it is the only way that they can get affection from their partners, or they come to reject sensual affection altogether because of its inherent sexual implications.
Healthy loving couples who maintain a high frequency of non-erotic touch learn to enjoy a wide repertoire of sensual pleasures separate from erotic touch. To do this, these couples are conscious of and provide different kinds of sensual touch.
• Subtle, brief touch. A simple caress of the arm or shoulder, the touch of a cheek, or a pat on the hand, may last a few seconds but acts as a powerful reminder of love and affection.
• Touch during a focused activity. A planned or focused activity, such as bathing together, giving and/or receiving a foot massage, or just cuddling together, extends sensual feelings but does not necessarily lead to sex. Times of tenderness and affection bond lovers by developing trust and intimacy.
Frequency and creativity are the essential elements of sensual touch. Ten to twenty brief touches per day, and one to two planned and focused sensual activities per week is a good guideline. Consider using resources of books, video tapes, and workshops to stimulate creativity and expand your reportoire of touch.
Sensual touch can communicate your love more accurately than words. By becoming more comfortable and versitile with sensual touch, you open yourself to a more satisfying and pleasurable relationship.
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